The Family Dinner Hour: A "Recipe" for Building Strong Relationships

The family dinner hour is that precious time when we stop the frantic pace of life and focus on our loved ones. During this time, ignore the phone, television, the knocks at the door, and the stuff of the world, and listen closely as your loved ones share about the events of their day. Connect. Pay close attention. In so doing, we pay value to those who are the most valuable to us.

Life can get really frantic, and the level of stress in a family can soar out of control very quickly. Children are the most vulnerable to the stress levels in the lives of their parents. The family mealtime can be a time of quieting down and re-connecting. This time of connecting and relationship building is vital to the well-being and health of the family.

Prepare a simple meal, focus on your loved ones, and strengthen your family. Blessings...

Hospitality

"Essential to hospitality is the open heart which results in an open home... be it a small room, a modest apartment, or a mansion- in which we can practice hospitality." Karen Mains

I love this quote, and I have had the privilege of practicing hospitality in all locations but the mansion. There was a time in our lives when we lived in a small rental, and because of unemployment most of our furniture was sold and we were eating our meals on a card table. When we had guests in for a meal another utility table was added to accommodate the numbers, but we always had guests, no matter what the circumstances. The meal might have been very frugal, but the fellowship was always wonderful and uplifting.

Sadly, hospitality is becoming a lost art. But I do believe the most important hospitality we will ever extend will be to our family at the end of a long day. This time is so important to the well-being of the family, especially to children. This is a precious time for each member of the family to share about the events of the day and draw close to one another after long hours of separation. The gift of love and laughter and the sharing of feelings as we talk about the day satisfies the soul like a bowl of warm soup on a cold winter night. May you and your family have many wonderful meals together in this new year. Blessings...

A Cup of Tea, a Warm Muffin and a Friend

When was the last time you got together with a special friend for some catching up and something yummy to eat? I must confess that the last time I did was when we went home for a vacation in July. Right now that time seems like a lifetime ago. I have a very special friend that I haven't had lunch with since February of this year and another friend that I haven't been able to connect with on the phone in weeks. We play phone tag. My point? Life gets way too busy and relationships suffer.

We brought a puppy home with us when we went on vacation. My life has been turned upside down and my clean home, is no longer. My husband and I rarely sleep through the night because of crate training, and stomach and intestinal distress. Three visits to the vet in two months; we are almost on a first name basis with her. And the bank account is sorely lacking in funds, at this time.

It seems my relationships have taken a dramatic turn away from my lady friends toward a precious female Labrador Retriever, for the time being. I long to spend time with my friends to do all the catching up, but puppy training doesn't wait and we will have a good puppy-citizen, which takes lots of time. This is also the reason that I struggle to get more than two posts done in a week. It's frustrating, but a very real part of my life for right now. I'm looking forward to the time when she is old enough to go out for walks with me, and when my time is more my own again.

Never in my life did I think I would be "parenting" again, but I am. There will be time for lunch with a friend again soon, but in the meantime, we email one another and I will continue to use the phone to stay in touch the best I can. Relationships with our friends and family are so important, and the stuff of life does tend to get in the way of our time together. Thankfully, the Lord willing, we will have another day and time to connect. We must be careful that not too much time goes by though. We simply don't get the time back. Blessings...

Family Vacation

Since my husband and I moved to Idaho a few years back there have been many changes in our family. One of these changes is our niece and her family living on the other side of the world due to military service. One of the great blessings in my husbands life is the fact that one of our niece's daughters was born on my husbands birthday. Last year when we were all together for our summer mini-family reunion my husband invited this little niece out for an ice cream date to celebrate their mutual birthdays. They had such a good time together that he is hoping to repeat the celebration when we go home this time. These precious times together are the things that childhood memories and traditions are made of and, as we get older, we treasure them as much as the children do, if not more. We will be away building more family memories over the next 10 days. I'll be back to my "post" in about two weeks. Blessings...

The Humble Gift of Welcome

Hospitality is the humble gift of welcome, while entertaining is prideful, showy, wants to impress, and as my husband and I have experienced personally, very hurtful for those being "entertained". The most important part of hospitality is conveying an attitude of welcome, care and love toward those who are coming into your home. Our guests couldn't care less about the size of our home, kind or condition of the furniture, how the table is set or even what is being served, as long as they feel welcomed, loved, and cared for. Hospitality does not say, "hey, look at me", it says, "I'm glad you're here and I'm caring for you".

People are longing for relationship, connection, and a sense of acceptance, none of which are being supplied on Facebook or any other form of social media. Inviting people into our lives and our homes is where connecting takes place, especially around the table and a meal. The meal need not be elaborate; simplicity is key to easing stress and a feeling of being relaxed, for us and our guests. Our guests have come into our home for fellowship and an enjoyable time, and I have found that guests always ask what they can contribute to the meal, which causes them to feel more apart of the meal.

Recently we had some friends in our home to help celebrate my birthday, hence the picture of the lovely cake my husband purchased for the meal. The evening was filled with laughter and good food. There is no better way to connect with friends and family than to share laughter, conversation that includes everyone, and good food. Blessings...

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you! I pray that your celebration will be filled with wonderful times of memory making with your loved ones, and of course, good food. In the crazy busyness of the day, remember people come first. No one will notice the dust on the tables or crumbs on the floor, but they will remember whether or not they felt welcomed, loved and cared for. Blessings...

A Recipe for "A Happy Marriage"

I found this very clever "recipe" in an ad some time back. These words of wisdom, done in a very sweet way, are very appropriate to marriage at any time. Blessings...

Take two happy people - one male and one female - and separate them from their parents. Add the following ingredients in generous proportions:
  Love
  Acceptance
  Respect
  Communication
  Patience
  Kindness
  Gentleness
  Self-Control
  Commitment
  Faith
  Hope
  Truth
Mix together, then thoroughly sift in daily life. Strain out jealousy, arrogance, selfishness, provocation and accounting of wrongs. Bake in the trials and tribulations of life for 50 years, then celebrate when golden.

Good Manners

My husband and I returned from a trip to California last week. We were gone ten days and connecting with friends and family presented itself in many forms. I do not think that most of us even think of how much we can impact the lives of those around us, for good or bad, we just do because we are in relationships.

How we respond to the people we invite into our homes is very important, but how we respond to people in public places is also a form of connecting and relationship building. Do we offer a kind word or a smile? Do we act interested in the people who are sitting at the table with us even if they aren't our best friend or closest family member? There were times when I felt very uncomfortable and left out, and I had to make the effort to be kind and keep going. Good manners, being kind, and showing an interest in other people are very important social graces that must not be forgotten. Reach out to others with a kind word and a smile. Be a blessing in the life of another.

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." Emily Post

Easter and an Invitation to New Friendships

Easter, for my husband and I, was going to be a quiet dinner after church, and a few phone calls with loved ones. But, a neighbor with a tender heart changed our plans on Saturday afternoon.

While I was at the market my husband called to ask if I would like to go to our neighbors home for Easter dinner. Well, this was a very unusual turn of events for us. It seems our neighbor came to the door to invite us to their family meal, which was going to be a potluck involving many people. Two of the people were the son and daughter-in-law of our neighbors, who are new attenders at the same church we attend, so this was going to be a great opportunity to get to know them better, as well. I said that I would love to go.

Then, of course, my next thought was, "what do I plan to take at this late date". Stacy didn't ask us to bring anything, but when my husband went to their home to give our acceptance he asked what we could bring and called me back. I was buying produce at that moment so the thought of a fruit salad sounded like a good idea. Fruit is always a good idea for a potluck.

We had such a wonderful time with this family. A very special blessing in it for us was the fact that many of our neighbors family members also live in the same subdivision, so we were meeting other neighbors.

Our hearts were really touched by this wonderful act of kindness. Inviting others into our home for meals has been a cornerstone of our marriage and home, especially as ministry, with very little reciprocation. We have found that people tend to be afraid to extend an invitation to anyone but very close friends and family. We people like to stay safe. But, how many opportunities for new relationships do we miss by staying safe? It was wonderful to be on the receiving end this time. Have a blessed day!

Is Inviting Guests for Dinner Difficult for You?

Inviting people into our home was very difficult for me in the early years of my marriage. I took every aspect of having guests into our home very seriously, way too seriously, actually. I usually made enemies of my family in the process of cleaning and cooking. I'm sure the message they got was that company was far more important than they were and they needed to leave me alone so I could accomplish my agenda. By the time our guests arrived I was absolutely shot and had a very difficult time enjoying myself. The only thing I could see by the time dinner was on the table was all the work that still remained after everyone went home. This is not fun.

It is so much better to serve a very simple meal in a tidy house, and be relaxed and enjoy a wonderful time with your friends and family than to be stressed out and miserable because everything had to be perfect. God's word speaks clearly to the issue of sharing our lives with people and building relationships, not about lavish meals and perfect decor. I have had women tell me that they would not have company in their homes because the furniture was old and they were not good cooks. Building relationships is so much more than the shape of our furniture and what is on the table. As long as we are loving and welcoming, our guests will be so glad they were invited. Blessings in your endeavors...

The Gift of Welcome

"You can share your heart and life with others, even if the meal is simple and the setting is humble. The most important gift of welcome simply says I care, I love you, and I have prepared a place for you."

The Woman's Study Bible, Second Edition

Copyright 1995, 2006 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

New King James Version, Page 1636